Life Wants You Dead - A Calm, Rational, and Totally Legit Guide to Scaring Yourself Safe

"Truly hilarious!" —Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts

Fear!!! Scary, right? But what if the only thing we shouldn't fear is fear itself?

In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a heightened state of fear. We're afraid of the world and afraid of each other—but not nearly as afraid as we should be! And this absurdly hilarious survival guide demonstrates that being afraid of literally everything is the only guaranteed way to stay safe. Packed with lifesaving/fear-fanning illustrations, sidebars, jump scares, chilling one-liners, and more, these pages will keep readers safe from the scourges of love, technology, birds, education, jackalopes, their own bodies, their homes, and the world outside their own bodies and homes. Includes a bonus foldout Fear Map lurking in the inside back cover.

A BOOK TO KEEP