The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress

So there I was roysh, life focked, reputation focked, finances focked -
everything completely focked, roysh, and we''re talking big time.
And it''s all Fionn''s fault, basically. He''s the four-eyed focker who told me that, like, the first time you do it, roysh, you''re firing blanks. Like an unloaded Uzi -
seriously impressive, hard as fock and totally ready for action, but the safety''s, like, on, you know. Well that was a pile of stinking turds for storters. And of course it''s muggins here who ends up with the kid - life is SO focking unfair. On top of all that, roysh, the goys stort to, like, totally lose it - JP has gone all Jesus on my orse, Oisinn is basically trying to fock over Interpol and Christian is talking about weddings and, I don''t know, love and stuff. I mean, I am seriously beginning to feel like I am the only good-looking, loaded, sane goy in the whole of, like, Dublin.