The Satsuma Complex

‘Funny, clever and sweet… there is a lot of Mortimer’s ridiculousness’ – Sunday Times
‘The much loved comic proves adept at noirish fiction in a debut whose surrealist humour sets it apart’ – Observer
‘Like Spike Milligan, Mortimer has managed to use a novel for his distinctive comedic voice’ – The Telegraph

My name is Gary. I’m a thirty-year-old legal assistant with a firm of solicitors in London. To describe me as anonymous would be unfair but to notice me other than in passing would be a rarity. I did make a good connection with a girl, but that blew up in my face and smacked my arse with a fish slice.

Gary Thorn goes for a pint with a work acquaintance called Brendan. When Brendan leaves early, Gary meets a girl in the pub. He doesn’t catch her name, but falls for her anyway. When she suddenly disappears without saying goodbye, al